Tag Archives: standards

Why You Should Bother to Accept Yourself

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It can be all too easy to make the mistake that, just because something is inside of you, you can do whatever you want to it. “It’s just a feeling, I can push past it” we might think. “I shouldn’t be afraid, I’m not a coward.” “I’m going to stick to my plan, no matter what!”

…”My feelings aren’t right”, we think, all too easily.

Why Not Accepting Yourself is a Problem

When you step all over yourself no matter how you feel, you might end up achieving a lot. You might make a lot of money. You might win a world record in pie eating. You might also end up with a stomach ache.

A Lack Of Acceptance


Sometimes, the judgement of the mind can go a little too far.

Your feelings have their own reason for being– sometimes your mind doesn’t have it all figured out. You may think you have it all figured out, but just remember, the same voice that says “This doesn’t feel right” can also say “I’m unhappy”. And the less you listen to it, the less happy you’ll be.

Nevermind the brainwashing you can do to yourself. If you’re a logical kind of person, you can end up thinking your way into doing whatever your logical side wants to do all the time. But maybe it doesn’t feel right. If you just stick with logic, you’ll get disconnected from life. You’ll trick yourself into thinking it’s right to live exactly as you are. But slowly the feeling of really being alive and free will trickle out of you. Maybe it already has.

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In Friendship, you are ALWAYS Special

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Today, I figured out that the desire to become special by becoming something other than you are (for instance, more skilled at something), is based off of a feeling of rejection from those you considered your friends (perhaps internal friends). The whole notion that you need to be special to be accepted is wrong, because anyone who puts that kind of condition on friendship really isn’t your friend.

Yeah, it’s alright to become skilled at something, but it’s also alright to not be skilled at all. Once you know this, it becomes easier to be one of those weirdos who always does what they want. Don’t buy into the standards of others, their fault-finding and animosity, their egotism… it’s all just their own difficulty. But when it comes to the surface in the way someone treats you, know that it has nothing to do with you, and you do not need to prove to their standards that you are acceptable.

So if you feel anxiety over the fact that you can’t seem to get to the level of success, skill, fame, talent, wealth, goodness, beauty, WHATEVER of other people, question your need to GET to that level. Maybe it’s alright for you stay where you’re at, if you like it. Be weird, unskilled, dorky, emotional, quirky, imperfect. Maybe there’s no problem there after all.

Addition: (6/12/12)

This video was recently brought to my attention, and in it the speaker talks about the exact point that healed this part of myself – to really know that I am special, not because of some kind of achievement, but because everyone is special. At least, to their true friends. Those friends will always count you among the special, no matter what you do, and we never need to waste our time proving to those who aren’t our friends that we’re special, because their inability to recognize that is their problem.