Since I found out a lack of calmness is usually due to fear, I set about today making a list of every fear-based thought that popped into my head, no matter how small. After maybe two hours or so I already have 32! Surprisingly I felt more calm just doing this, as it allowed me to get on paper things jumping around nervously inside my head. Sort of like a todo list. I don’t know how I’ll handle these yet, but I’m beginning to see some themes, such as fears about my character turning bad, about doing unnecessary things, about making mistakes that will come back to haunt me, about unknowns that could possibly cause me harm if I remain in the dark, about how much I really know vs. what I just think I know. These come out as silly things, like: “That I will get serious again.” or “That singing a song will get it stuck in my head.” or even one fear about how if not getting on a scary theme park ride in my dream last night will come back to haunt me. Just got one more – “Should I post this?” lol. “Is that really what I’m afraid of?” “If I post it now, will it be just for the sake of appearances?” 😐 “Am I missing anything?” Ok I think I’m good now. “Am I?”