Had another self-conversation. This time I found that there’s a part of me who is distressed and looking for guidance, and opts to listen to others (or myself) who, authoritatively, tell him what he “should” do. I challenged this, asking “well, what if you DON’T?” – obviously, he would be punished by my inner authority figure, or others. I told him that I thought that this kind of treatment was unfair, that instead of giving authority to some demanding voice within, I believed that everything inside me, every single force, was a living being, who did not deserve abuse or mistreatment.
Therefore, if challenge your “shoulds”, and that voice inside you that tells you what to do, you’ll be more free. The alternative? When you want to do something, do it – examining things rationally. Listen to yourself, stand outside your inner judgments and conflicts. If you fail to do something you wanted to do, question the whole thing if you start beating yourself up afterwards. The inner person telling you what you should and should not do needs to be questioned, or else the parts of you whose voices long to be heard, and who are constantly attacked for wanting things that aren’t deemed “correct” or “right”, will continue to be abused, and you’ll suffer for it. And that will be 🙁