About Oliver Kaufman

Oliver Kaufman just is who he is. Like anybody, he's got a lot of stuff going on inside of him, and, having found a way to share it, created this website to share what he has found that brings value to his own life. He also likes to talk in third person and sound genial and relatable. He has a thing about not being defined by the groups he's been a part of, the schools he's attended, or the kind of people he hangs out with. That's not important to him. What he really likes is finding out stuff in life that is helpful to other people and himself, things that make life better, more enriched, more empowered - and without cheap tactics like fooling yourself into thinking life is better, or more enriched, or that one is empowered when they really aren't. He's not into that. He knows that some people put high standards on themselves and others, they hold up certain people as heroes and ideal people to be like. He doesn't like this. He thinks that everyone has stuff going on inside them, and that paying attention to how things are right now for each individual is what's important. Maybe he's wrong, but talking about all this in his biographical information sure makes him feel good. Also doubtful. He wonders if talking this way, when you the reader probably expected a long-winded list of past events, is off-putting to you. But, in the end, he has decided to just stick with what he likes, and that means sticking with exactly what he wrote. With that, he bids you farewell and hopes you enjoy this site. Thank you!

The Courage to Face Any Thought

Oftentimes, thoughts can go all over the place. They can go so many places you may have no idea how the images in your head even got there. Images of pain and violence, or those of your worst fears. And every time your thoughts get going, you begin to dread having to see those things again in your mind. You’re not the kind of person who thinks those things! Can’t they just leave you alone…?

Do you know what I’m talking about? Maybe it happens for you after a scary movie, when your mind wanders back to the things that haunted you. Or maybe the phrase: “What has been seen, cannot be unseen” calls what I’m talking about to mind.

All in all, it’s when you don’t want to think a certain thought.

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Respect Your Moodiness

Moodiness

Sometimes, you just want to be in a crappy mood. Is that so bad?

If you’re like me, sometimes you get grumpy, moody, frustrated, annoyed, depressed, worried, or any other number of emotions that can seem “bad”. You might feel the impulse to treat your mood like a problem, and jump to solve it immediately with something. But sometimes you just can’t find any way to solve it, and on top of that you’re sick of trying to solve it! At times like these, it’s a good idea to just let yourself be moody.

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Move Beyond Your Dissatisfaction with Life

Dissatisfaction

Like a Dark King, Dissatisfaction looks upon your life with disdain, each imperfection adding to his pain.

There is a part of one’s self who is dissatisfied with life not being completely blissful and peaceful all the time. Whenever you’re happy, it’s that little voice that pops up and says, “Yeah, but…”

Imagine this dissatisfied side of you as a distinct individual. What are they like? Having this individual in your head can be why it’s so hard to be thankful for anything, because this side of one’s self speaks up and adds in why we shouldn’t be thankful. To Dissatisfaction, nothing is ever good enough, except the goal.

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Why You Should Bother to Accept Yourself

It can be all too easy to make the mistake that, just because something is inside of you, you can do whatever you want to it. “It’s just a feeling, I can push past it” we might think. “I shouldn’t be afraid, I’m not a coward.” “I’m going to stick to my plan, no matter what!”

…”My feelings aren’t right”, we think, all too easily.

Why Not Accepting Yourself is a Problem

When you step all over yourself no matter how you feel, you might end up achieving a lot. You might make a lot of money. You might win a world record in pie eating. You might also end up with a stomach ache.

A Lack Of Acceptance


Sometimes, the judgement of the mind can go a little too far.

Your feelings have their own reason for being– sometimes your mind doesn’t have it all figured out. You may think you have it all figured out, but just remember, the same voice that says “This doesn’t feel right” can also say “I’m unhappy”. And the less you listen to it, the less happy you’ll be.

Nevermind the brainwashing you can do to yourself. If you’re a logical kind of person, you can end up thinking your way into doing whatever your logical side wants to do all the time. But maybe it doesn’t feel right. If you just stick with logic, you’ll get disconnected from life. You’ll trick yourself into thinking it’s right to live exactly as you are. But slowly the feeling of really being alive and free will trickle out of you. Maybe it already has.

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Find Yourself: A Quick Self-Discovery Activity

This site is about self-discovery, exploring your inner world, and working with different sides of yourself. But it can be hard to understand what I’m talking about until you first experience meeting a side of yourself for the first time. So here is a guide on how to meet a side of yourself. I hope it works for you. (If it doesn’t, let me know!)

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Becoming at Peace with Your Own Path

Maybe you’ve been perturbed at someone who seems to know a lot more than you do. Yep, even today I felt the same way. And I know it’s not always just because of jealousy, but because the way they live their life makes you reflect on your own path.

“Is my way wrong? Am I missing something?” These were the kinds of questions I was asking myself.

Sometimes I worry about these things. I wonder if there might be something, just outside of my awareness, that if I was aware of it, it would make a huge difference in my life.

Then people come by who seem to have it all figured out, like they’ve found the thing, and yet, what they say doesn’t seem helpful to me at all. Frustrating!

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Learning to Comfort a Person who Feels Sad

So, do you like to be sad? Probably not. It’s quite likely that at least a part of you doesn’t want to be sad at all, and would much rather be happy. If you feel very strongly about this, I’ve got some bad news for you:

Happiness is really no better than sadness.

“What??” you might say. Let me explain.

Happiness and sadness are both just part of the emotional spectrum. Either emotion, you feel it, perhaps in response to events, and then you do your best to respond to that feeling. But if we feel as though sadness is a bad thing, we can tend to act rather unhelpfully around sad people. Continue reading