Today’s discovery: When you’re trying to help someone, there are two compulsions that arise – one is positive and wants to do anything it can, and the other is negative and hates suffering and can’t stand it when anyone is suffering nearby. If the negative one tries to help, it pulls out its back of tricks and theories for what might help, dumps it on the suffering person and demands they go through every single method, now. In this way, the part of us that hates suffering can create suffering in others.
The positive part on the other hand, considers where it may be wrong and welcomes whatever the suffering person says, in an upbeat way. That positive voice may not know right away how to help, but it learns from what the suffering person says, and so can eventually get to the heart of the problem. Do you know these two sides of you in this kind of situation? Are you secure enough to not freak out when your friends are hurting? : )
